Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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