sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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