i barfeds in our rink
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
