pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
