guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Randomize
