Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
