I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
