Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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