Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
