Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
You are a genius and a whore.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
