HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
