i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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