I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
