Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
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