dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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