Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Randomize