Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
