You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
