she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
