Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
