clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
