her vagine was all disorganized.
Someone shit on the floor
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
