Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
mondays should just be called national damage control day
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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