twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Randomize
