I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
