Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
