apparently the secret to your success is patron
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
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