We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
