she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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