Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Michael Bay diarrhea
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
