she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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