I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I didn't notice because vodka
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
