Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
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