I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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