I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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