: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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