If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
