Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
