I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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