Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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