best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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