goodnight i made you a song goodbye
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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