Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
