I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
