hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
It all started with a game of naked twister.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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