I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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