Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
