Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
You can't special order awesome
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
