Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize