something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
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