am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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