She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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