I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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