quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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