Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Randomize
