The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
