"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
