He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
