Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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