My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
OPIZZABONMYDICK
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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