Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Randomize